Aside from Sakamoto Ryoma’s brutal cutthroat nature, his altruistic morality often inclines him to help others in the quaint city of Kyo. Yet, despite his good intentions, Ryoma occasionally finds himself in the most ludicrous situations, from an erotic misunderstanding to an obstreperous dancing protest. So, in honor of the game’s bizarreness, we’ll show you the 10 weirdest side missions of Like a Dragon: Ishin.
Ee Ja Nai Ka
Social movements take many forms, whether it be a vow of silence or an act of defiance, but in Ishin’s case, it’s the art of dancing with the Ee Ja Nai Ka protest in Rakunai. However, even if it is for a righteous cause, some use it in the wrong way, as Ryoma comes to face to face with a couple of arrogant samurais who try to shake down a man during the demonstration. Nonetheless, just when you think it will lead to a typical Yakuza-style brawl, the thieves break out in a dance as Ryoma hilariously pleads, “Stop dancing at me!”
Funnily enough, Sakamoto becomes entranced by their chants and suddenly forgets about the robbed man; he even joins in on the movement as the poor victim lies on the ground. Furthermore, while he does eventually help the despondent resident, he runs into other Ee Ja Nai Ka protesters along the way, resulting in more shenanigans and crazy fights.
In Rakunai, players will encounter a con artist named “Dark Ebisu,” who has been giving false blessings to seniors, such as promises of excellent health, good luck, and… superb lovemaking. But, of course, all these things come at a cost, or as the false deity puts it, an exchange of “Material Faith,” forcing Ryoma to stop him from his deceptive ways.
Despite the con artist’s whimsical comments, the weirdness factor truly kicks in at the end of the substory, in which Sakamoto may or may not have seen the actual deity. Without revealing too much, we’ll say that Ryoma questions his life after this confrontation and is left baffled about the spiritual world.
A Clean Streak
If you’re a Ryoma/Kiryu fanatic, you’ll enjoy the chaotic exposed adventures of the ‘A Clean Streak’ substory as the character practically runs around Fushimi in his birthday suit. After Ryoma takes a relaxing dip in the bathhouse, he begins to chase a clothes-stealing thief while the village residents either admire his body or call him a pervert. Unfortunately for Sakamoto, the patrol deems his actions a crime, and now he has to hide in barrels and crates in a fairly naked state.
Compared to other missions, the story sets the bar for the traditional, quirky moments of the franchise, and it’s undoubtedly a sight you won’t want to miss.
The Sexy Madam
Ryoma’s naivety sometimes gets the best of him, especially regarding the subtle coital gestures from the Sexy Madam, who will ask him for his cucumber. Due to his oblivious deductions, he keeps it PG-rated and believes that she wants some fresh produce instead of what she really wants (insert eggplant emoji here.)
The character starts to put two and two together with each conversation, given that she provocatively moans for every vegetable, making him wonder what she actually does with it. But, on the other hand, the ending may surprise you as it did for Sakamoto when she reveals her true intentions.
The Way of Sammerai
A foreign man fully decked out in an American flag-themed outfit approaches Ryoma near the Dojo, hoping to become a master samurai, or as he calls it, “Sammerai.” In spite of his consistent mispronunciation of words, the main protagonist feels bad for the visitor and reluctantly accepts to train him, with Sakamoto defeating him in almost every match. Nevertheless, the foreign man, also known as Tom, doesn’t falter from this and continues to enunciate words like ‘sensay’ and ‘busheedo.’
Although many interactions between the two characters are predominantly farcical, it does make for an interesting relationship as Tom and Ryoma dive into the ways of the samurai.
The Lucky Cat
The innocent persona of Ryoma Sakamoto strikes again with the Lucky Cat saga in Rakunai. In this story, the character slowly becomes convinced that a feline friend brings good luck after he overhears a man talking about his recent prosperity from the animal. Still, like most missions, the only way to get this lucky break is by giving the cat money, and it’s not just mere chump change as the price continues to increase.
A regular person probably would’ve stopped at a few coins, but since Ryoma is a unique individual, he gives the Lucky Cat a hefty amount of cash. In return, we see several goofy interactions between the two until it develops into a bonding friendship.
On paper, the Scented Water storyline seems like your ordinary scavenger-hunting mission, yet things take an unexpected turn as Ryoma fulfills a woman’s request in Fushimi to find a perfume that makes the user irresistible to men. You see, everything would’ve turned out all fine and dandy if the fragrance merchant didn’t test the product on himself, leading to the man falling in love with Sakamoto.
To make matters worse, the scented water crafter becomes so enamored with Ryoma that he begins chasing after him. By the conclusion, it leaves off on a hysterical note, with Sakamoto horrified at the production of this dangerous love potion.
The Love-Starved Husband
Ryoma finds himself in yet another mix-up during the Love-Starved Husband side quest, where a man expresses his concerns about his wife’s awful cooking. Being the kind man that he is, Sakamoto offers his own bento, and the resident thanks him for sharing his wife’s cooking, even though he was the one that made it and he’s not married.
Things get out of hand when Ryoma continuously feeds into the lie of having a wife while the man falls in love with his cooking. Thus, the resident asks him to meet his partner, compelling Sakamoto to break the news that he’s the one who has been catering to him after all this time.
The Boy Who Cried Bear
The Boy Who Cried Bear is one of the most random substories of Like a Dragon: Ishin, considering the fact that you fight an actual bear in the middle of Mibu. Initially, a young boy insists that a wild animal is running amok, and Ryoma chimes in to learn more about this curious accusation. While conversing, they don’t seem to notice an enormous bear behind them until it breaks out into an intense battle between man and beast.
Longtime players of the franchise wouldn’t be too surprised to hear an unusual situation like this, considering that Kiryu fought lions, tigers, and bears (oh my) in various Yakuza installments. It just makes you wonder what other animal showdowns will be next in a series filled with comical fights.
Death of the Author
Ryoma has several occupations, from a vicious samurai by day to a karaoke singer by night. Then, there’s his role as a creative writer as he helps an author who is fresh out of ideas at the Teradaya inn. As a result, players will get to watch a few amusing scenes, like how Sakamoto comes up with an ingenious idea of an underdog character literally being an actual dog.
Ultimately, the author leans in an entirely different direction when he decides to take on the smutty genre after having a sexual awakening.
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