Father’s Day: 20 dad jokes that are so bad they’re good

Today is the only day you can let Dad get away with his jokes (Picture: Getty)

Father’s Day is an annual celebration that takes a day to praise and be thankful for the important father figures in our lives.

There are lots of gift ideas out there that might be perfect for your Dad, from nerdy items to tech and gadgets, along with plenty of events taking place across London and beyond.

Just make sure you remember to buy (or make) a card.

Why not beat them at their own game, and include one of these vintage dad jokes, too?

Here are our corniest (but actually quite good) picks.

The top 20 funny dad jokes for Father’s Day

1. My wife says I never listen. Funny way to start a conversation if you ask me.

2. My son asked me to stop singing Oasis songs in public. I said maybe.

Father and daughter wearing robot costumes watching television

Dads are just big kids at the end of the day (Picture: Getty)

3. My wife is furious that our next-door neighbour has started sunbathing nude in her garden. Personally, I’m on the fence.

4. When the wife finds out I have replaced our bed with a trampoline… She’s going to hit the roof.

5. My wife said I never buy her flowers. I didn’t even know she sold flowers.

6. I went for an interview. They said, ‘Can you perform under pressure?’ I said ‘I’m not sure about that but I can have a good crack at Bohemian Rhapsody’.

7.  My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him. Went out. Had a few drinks. Nice guy. He’s a web designer.

8. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… She gave me a hug.

9. Today, my son asked, ‘Can I have a bookmark?’ and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn’t know my name is John.

10. Been out washing the car with my son. He said ‘Dad why don’t you use a sponge like the other dads?’

Father playing with his children embracing  in forest

Are dads just born with these jokes? (Picture: Getty)

11. ‘Dad, can you put my shoes on?’ – ‘No, I don’t think they’ll fit me’

12. Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot

13. This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in

14. What kind of car does an egg drive? A yolkswagen

15. I have a joke about chemistry, but I don’t think it will get a reaction

Put one of these jokes in your Father’s Day message (Picture: Getty)

16. I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now

17. I used to play piano by ear. Now I use my hands

18. I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner—it was just gathering dust

19. I used to be a personal trainer. Then I gave my too weak notice

20. I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Why not turn the tables this Father’s Day and cringe them out with these cheesy jokes? Time for a taste of their own medicine we think.

It’s easier to find a Father’s Day card with an animal on it than a Black dad

MORE : WhatsApp users warned over fake Heineken beer Father’s Day scam

Follow Metro across our social channels, on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram

Share your views in the comments below

var notifyQ = function () { var i = 0, l = awaitingReady.length; for (i = 0; i < l; i++) { awaitingReady[i](); } }; var ready = function (cb) { if (fbApiInit) { cb(); } else { awaitingReady.push(cb); } }; var checkLoaded = function () { return fbApiInit; }; window.fbAsyncInit = function () { FB.init({ appId: '176908729004638', xfbml: true, version: 'v2.10' }); fbApiInit = true; notifyQ(); }; return { 'ready' : ready, 'loaded' : checkLoaded }; })(); (function () { function injectFBSDK() { if ( window.fbApi && window.fbApi.loaded() ) return; var d = document, s="script", id = 'facebook-jssdk'; var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; if (d.getElementById(id)) { return; } js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; js.async = true; js.src = "https://connect.facebook.net/en_US/sdk.js"; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs); } if (window.metro) { window.addEventListener('scroll', injectFBSDK, {once: true, passive: true}); } else { window.addEventListener('DOMContentLoaded', injectFBSDK, {once: true}); } })();

Source link

Denial of responsibility! insideheadline is an automatic aggregator around the global media. All the content are available free on Internet. We have just arranged it in one platform for educational purpose only. In each content, the hyperlink to the primary source is specified. All trademarks belong to their rightful owners, all materials to their authors. If you are the owner of the content and do not want us to publish your materials on our website, please contact us by email – [email protected]. The content will be deleted within 24 hours.

Leave A Reply

Your email address will not be published.